Tag Archives: Men

33 Things You Didn’t Know About Men

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I originally wrote and published this in March 2011. Much has changed since then; much hasn’t.. Enjoy!

1. Men don’t like snobs. And no, they don’t like snobby behavior either. Why? They interpret it as rejection and bad manners. Remember, there’s a big difference between having that sexy self-confidence and that turn-off, holier-than-thou attitude.

2. Men of quality will choose a neat and presentable girl over a good-looking girl any day. There’s no point in dating a Gisele look-alike if she’s dressed like a hooker. That being said, yes, your man will enjoy you being the biggest b**** in bed, but you better be a lady in public. Men take no pride in boasting a hooker look-alike girlfriend. For starters, his friends will either make fun of him or make jokes about banging her. That’s not flattering for either of you.

3. Stop worrying about your silly tick or your wide hips or split ends or small breasts; and most importantly stop bringing attention to them. When a man really likes you, he’ll ignore your trivial bad characteristics.
4. Never underestimate a man’s attention to detail. If you have Sasquatch toes, he’ll run away. If you have hairy arms, armpits or upper lip, he’ll run away. If you have crooked, homeless guy teeth, he’ll run away. If you have bad breath that smells like a bird flew into your mouth and died, he’ll run away. And although some women may tolerate some body odor on men, it doesn’t work the other way around. If you smell bad, your man will run away. Men love the sweet smell of a woman’s skin and hair so make sure you don’t smell like rotting onions that have been roasting under the sun for weeks!

5. Yes, women hate it when men compare them to their mothers; but oddly enough, a man is attracted to a woman that reminds him of his mother (think: Oedipus). So, if you feel his mom is an evil b****, it’s highly likely you’re an evil b**** as well. Embrace it instead of trying to pick at it. Why? Because men love their moms.

6. Keep in mind that:
Men cry too, they just don’t make a dramatic Shakespearean show out of it like women do.
A man can be infatuated by you for five minutes, then forget you for the remainder of his existence.
Men can go crazy over a woman’s smile.
When a man tells you he doesn’t understand you, it’s because you’re not thinking the way he is.
Whether he’s lazy or super hard-working, every man has dreams bigger than his ego. And we all know how big a man’s ego is, so don’t crap all over his dreams.
When a guy keeps teasing you, it means he’s into you. Not much has changed since kindergarten.  

7. Never underestimate or question a man’s ability or power. Whether he’s driving around trying to find that new restaurant, or trying to fix your phone or his TV set, never tell him: “you don’t know what you’re doing.” Instead, smile and be his co-pilot or partner in crime. Once again, mind the ego.

8. Men are self-conscious about their weight too. They don’t like having a beer belly or those extra love handles, so don’t squeeze them and say “oh how cute!!” No man wants to be your teddy bear, he wants to be your beast and rock your world. Again, with the ego.

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9. A man can flirt around with 54 girls per day, but right before he goes to bed he only thinks about that one girl he truly cares about; whether it’s a girl he broke up with 7 years ago or his current lover or his best friend’s girl. It all comes down to that.

10. You’re not playing smart by telling a man: “Umm, you know what?  . . .  never mind, forget about it.” You’re not being a tease; you’re being a stupid child. He will most likely jump to a conclusion so far from what you were actually thinking . . . then hell may break loose. Remember that thing about the ego?

11. Never talk about your ex-boyfriends. Men hate it. Their imaginations will run wild too. On that note, when you tell a man you’re friendly with your Ex; his mind registers it as: “my Ex and I still hook up every now and then.”

12. When a man asks to meet your parents, don’t stop him. You never know, just a few months down the line, you could be begging him to meet your parents – and he’ll be refusing . . . this sh** tends to happen. A lot.

13. No girl likes an emotionless man. The key here is moderation, so don’t keep trying to provoke your man in order to get a reaction out of him. If he’s provoked enough, you’ll be getting much more than a heated temper (and no girl likes that either).

14. When a girl says “no” to a guy, he usually interprets it as “try again later.” When a girl says “yes,” he interprets it as “I want you to f*** me.” There’s no such thing as being too hard to get, but there is such a thing as being too accessible. Men don’t like accessible girls, they enjoy the thrill of the chase and prefer a girl that’s a challenge; someone who’s been unattainable to the guys before him.

15. Although they will deny this, men are even bigger and worse gossipers than women. They have the power to spread a story across the face of the earth faster than a woman can put her shirt back on.

16. It’s smart thinking to test a guy before you can believe and trust him, but make sure that doesn’t go on for too long. Distrust on the longterm is interpreted as low self-esteem, and low self-esteem is a big turn off for any man.

17. When a man has had a rough day, he’d rather be left alone to lick his wounds (caveman style). If you’re privileged enough, he will share his problems with you. Don’t nag, don’t philosophize, don’t give advice and don’t breathe. Just listen to him and be there for him. Be quiet for once.

18. Although they may not show it, it’s super f***ing hard for a guy to move on and let go of his girlfriend after a breakup; especially if they’ve been together for over 2 years.

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19. During Courtship:
If a girl really makes a guy suffer, it would be tremendously hard for him to let go of her.
Men are willing to do anything to capture the attention of a girl they really like.

20. If your relationship is serious, it is more likely that the man loves you more than you love him; so even if a man tells you he loves you once every 34 months, there’s no need slit your wrists. It still means he loves you. Instead, try focusing on his actions, not his words.

21. Never dig into your man’s personal belongings without asking first. Whether it’s his phone, laptop, sock drawer or anything that’s his; if you’re looking to find something bad, you definitely will – and honey, your prying nose ain’t gonna like it. We all have a history. Accept that he does too and focus on other more important things, like why you’re such an insecure and nosy little b****.

That being said . . .

22. Don’t open Pandora’s Box unless you’re ready to face the consequences. Also, if you snoop around, don’t tell him or he’ll a) lose respect for you or b) begin snooping through your phone every single day just to spite you.

23. Men hate it when their woman is wearing too much make up. Men also hate it when a woman’s hair is full-on coiffed with half a bottle of hairspray squirted into it. Men like to run their fingers through your soft hair without requiring a wrench to pull their hand out of your head. They also like to play with your face and kiss your cheeks without hearing “eeeeek! you’re ruining my make up!” men interpret excess make up as a) a clown at a circus or b) hooker in a brothel.

24. Even if they don’t admit it, men do not appreciate it when they buy you a 2,000 dollar gift then receive a 200 dollar gift from you. That spells: G-O-L-D-D-I-G-G-E-R! It also says you’re an ungrateful person who believes she is entitled to receiving without giving back. If you can’t afford buying him something close to that value, don’t accept his gift in the first place.

25. When you want to “teach” your man something, do it in private. In public, they must appear to know everything. On that note, never try to emasculate your man in front of his friends or family; he will hate you for that. His friends will hate you for that. His family will hate you for that. They will all encourage him to leave you. Unless he’s completely whipped, he will most likely, eventually leave you.

26. If a man says “I’ll call you” and he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean he forgot, it doesn’t mean he lost your number, it doesn’t mean he had a family emergency, and it doesn’t mean he’s lying dead in the hospital. It means he simply didn’t want to call you. Why? Who cares! Next!

27. Always be direct with a man. Never use mixed signals. If you want to get what you want, don’t say “yes” when you mean “no” or “go ahead” when you mean “stay” or “I don’t mind” when you mean “don’t you dare.” Be a woman, damn it, not a silly little girl.

28. Every man is a pedophile to some degree. A man loves it when his woman acts like a baby and he loves her timidity, innocence and purity. Don’t mistake these characteristics for being “naïve, stupid, ignorant, weak and dependent” – men hate that.

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29. Men love a sexy, sultry, elegant woman who turns people’s heads when she walks into a room. Sometimes though, men prefer it if you wore no make up, a T-shirt with jeans and sneakers, and tied your hair in a ponytail. Simplicity is also nice.

30. Most men don’t mind if you’re short. They will mind if you’re fat though. When a man tells you that you just need to “work out at the gym,” that’s his polite way of telling you “you need to lose weight!” But – no man likes a scrawny, boney, semi-anorexic, breastless, butt-less, curve-less skeleton either.

31. When threatening to “unleash your inner b****” to a man, you are not intimidating him at all. Instead, he is a) disgusted, b) secretly laughing at you, or c) possibly not even listening to your empty threats and growling. On that note, a man hates a woman that loses her composure. Shouting and screaming is a big no-no. If you want to get your point across, think Al Pacino from the Godfather part I (not part III): calm and terrifying.

32. Men hate women’s drunken dramatic alter egos. Whether it’s aggressive, emotional, out of control, or plain weird, they just hate it. They especially hate it when they have to watch you vomit while holding your hair back – that’s your best friend’s job – at 16. At 26? Not so much . . .

33. Fact: Married men tend to have a longer life expectancy than single men, but married men are the ones more willing to die.



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28 Years, 28 Lessons


For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a very vocal girl. I’ve given eccentric opinions and made unwelcomed statements even where they weren’t requested. This has led many other girls to believe that I hold infinite wisdom – which I do ;-D – and ask me for endless advice on countless topics, even when I don’t have a clue on what to answer. A friend of mine once asked me whether she should divorce her husband. Well, since I had never been married – like ever – I remember chewing on my food for what felt like a century, then told her, “Life’s too short. Do what makes you happy.” I was surprised at my response since I always thought I was anti-divorce and pro- “deal with your shit,” but I realized how much time had changed my perspective on many things. So, for any of you who think me to be the Buddha of “white girl problems,” I haven’t quite figured out how to stop body hair from growing, but here are 28 simple things I’ve learned in 28 complicated years:

  1. The only thing that should remain constant in your life is your happiness. If that means letting go of friends, relationships, jobs or even family ties, do it without warning. As I said above, life is too short for you to be unhappy.
  2. If you can love someone once, you will be able to love someone else again. Inversely, if someone loves you once, another person will love you too – and many more will as well. Don’t dwell on a lost love – that’s too much wasted energy. You will have many great loves in your lifetime. None of them will be the same, but one of them will stick.
  3. There’s no such thing as a lifetime friend. At each stage in your life, you will have a new best friend, someone who fits into whatever stage you’re at. You will have many friends and lose most of them. That’s normal. It’s called growing up.
  4. If you wake up miserable at 30 because you chose the wrong career, it’s fine. Go back to school and pursue what you love immediately. You are not the same person now that you were at 16 – and what does a 16-year-old know about making a lifelong decision anyway? It’s better to change your life at 30 and live the next half of it happily, than wake up at 60 filled with a lifetime of regrets.
  5. Tattoos come in odd numbers. If you have one tattoo, you’ll probably only have that one for the rest of your life. If you have two, you will most definitely get a third.
  6. Always let a boy kiss you first. Let him be the one pursuing you – always. That way, when you have him all to yourself, you will trust and know that he got there willingly. That way, he will appreciate what he finally got and treat you well accordingly. And remind yourself everyday to keep trusting him and his intentions. Insecurity is the reason for most failed relationships.
  7. Be with a guy that makes you laugh and you’ll never get bored of him. Everything else will fall into place. I had many more criteria when I was younger, but a good sense of humor is gold. At the end of the day, it’s what keeps the relationship alive.
  8. Travel a lot. Whether you believe you need to or not, travel. It will open your mind to new ideas and perspectives. It will change you; grow you.
  9. Invest in sunscreen, not in makeup and Botox. Younger girls these days think that looking like a proboscis monkey is sexy. It’s not – and neither are crow’s feet and wrinkles. I am 28 and I look younger than the 18-year-old madams sprouting up everywhere.
  10. There is no golden rule to relationships. Find the rhythm that suits you best instead of trying to force the norms of others into your lifestyle. No, you do not have to be married by a certain age. In fact, you do not have to be married at all. Point. If simply living with your partner and child makes you happy, do it. And if you do marry, never marry for love; and never marry for money. Marry when both elements are present, because one without the other is doomed to fail.
  11. There’s no such thing as platonic friendship between men and women, unless one of the two finds the other completely and irreversibly unattractive. If your friend likes you, chances are they probably won’t ever tell you how they feel – but they will show you.
  12. There are three traits that are absolutely unacceptable in both sexes: stinginess, bad hygiene and dishonesty. Everything else that’s horrible sprouts from those three evils, so stay away from people with any of those qualities.
  13. Always: wear matching underwear and shave your legs – not because you’re up all night to get lucky, but because it makes you feel sexy on a personal level, giving you that extra boost of confidence – just like wearing high heels.
  14. Never underestimate the power of a confident woman. There is nothing she can’t do. She doesn’t have to be the prettiest, smartest or the richest girl, but if she has confidence, she is captivating. But, do mind the thin line between confidence and arrogance. There is nothing more unsexy than arrogance; stay modest.
  15. At all times, be in control of two things: your happiness and your anger. If someone is responsible for your happiness, you will be too dependent on him or her because they take can that away from you at any time. If someone can make you angry, they are in control of your emotions. No one deserves to have that much power over you psychologically or mentally.
  16. I for one have learned that there are four people who will love me more than they love themselves: my father, mother, sister and brother. These are the only people I will ever owe my loyalty or organs to. Always remember that an unconditional love like that can’t be found any place else, until you have a child of your own.
  17. At every stage in your life, filter your friends until you have one small clique that is your type of crazy. You must be able to do and say anything in front of them without feeling ashamed about it later on. These are the only people you will ever willingly see, help or make an effort for. These are the only friends you will ever want or need to be around.
  18. There is no absolute truth or reality. There is, however, your perception. In any situation, at any given point, change your perspective and you will change your life. For example, you may perceive your country of origin as a barrier for you to work in the USA, or you could look at is as an added advantage. You could be posing naked and look more pure than a fully dressed girl in a white gown with her cleavage hanging out.
  19. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are or what you can or cannot do, not even your own parents or spouse. When someone is that determined to prove you wrong, it’s because they are fighting an internal conflict that has very little to do with your capabilities and very much to do with theirs.
  20. Never envy anyone. Jealousy is for the insecure. Instead of focusing on other people’s progress, focus on yours. High school girls compete with each other. Real women support each other.
  21. Take care of two things: your hair and your teeth. Nothing is sexier than a girl with full, healthy, shiny hair and a gorgeous bright smile.
  22. Not all big noses are ugly. In fact, they are sexy. If you have a big nose, embrace it. I’ve met many confident women with big noses and I must say, they were powerful and sometimes intimidating.
  23. If you like a masculine perfume, wear it. If you like your brother’s jeans, wear them. If you like your boyfriend’s shirt, wear it. There are no rules to these things, only uptight societies.
  24. Whether it’s in your career, attire or relationships – get inspired from people. Read about them, their lives and their achievements, but never copy them. Give yourself a chance to release your own creative force. Don’t tiptoe in someone else’s luster because you’re scared of trying something different.
  25. I read this yesterday, “If you’re the smartest person in a room, you are in the wrong room.” Always be around people you can learn from. They should be more accomplished, smarter or better than you at least one thing so that you can learn from them. Be around winners who motivate you to be at the top of your game. Most people you meet will change your life, whether it’s for the better or for the worse, so choose them wisely.
  26. Drink a lot of water, even if you need to force it down your throat. Keep little bottles with you everywhere. At the very core, water’s responsible for good skin, hair, health and all that jazz. Drinking it is the easiest, lamest thing you can do to stay healthy.
  27. Read as often as you can. It’s exercise for your brain. Work out as often as you can. It’s exercise for your body and soul. You may not understand the importance of these two for your well being, but in another two or three decades, you will be thankful.
  28. The best thing I’ve ever been called is “brave.” It’s the sexiest, most intriguing quality a person can possess. Whenever you face a new challenge, be brave. There will always be others who are more educated, wealthy or good looking than you, but the one who’s the bravest is always the last man standing. Anyone who’s ever made a difference in history has been brave.

Since I’m evidently not Buddha, and not here to cure world hunger, instead of writing about deep, life altering issues, I decided to write about basic little things that we could all apply in our everyday lives – little things that could create a ripple effect of big changes. Many may not agree with my unconventional thoughts, but that’s why they’re called opinions. All I know is, there is a majority of desensitized people out there just waiting to be inspired by someone. If you have the chance to inspire someone, do it. They will never forget you or how you made them feel.


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Dear Sl*ts of Lebanon…


Disclaimer: This is a rant – my angriest one yet – although ironically, I’m not angry at all… But, I guess there’s no better way to write this than by presenting a “below the belt” public service announcement to a horrible genre of women who need to be disciplined. I will not be reciting phrases from the Bible, nor will I be promoting world peace. If you find foul language offensive, this is not the blog for you, and you may move along to greener pastures. And as always, to those of you who are insecure little haters, please feel free to write sweet insults to me in the comments section. 

In the past three years, I’ve blogged about anything and everything imaginable, except the “home-wrecking ho”. After countless get-togethers with my girls, their girls and their girls, I’ve come to notice how the concept of friendship among women is slowly diminishing as we get older, and is being replaced with competitiveness – especially where men are related. To explain my point further and with more accuracy, we were all able to agree on one common point: we are just about sick and f***ing tired of stupid b****es who are obsessed with finding a man at any cost that they will blatantly and shamefully take a shot at any attempt to break up a happy couple.

They will lurk around any given relationship and wait like vultures to pounce on the next available man. God forbid these desperate sl*ts actually try finding an already single guy to call their own – but no – it doesn’t work that way. These lazy b****es have no time to waste, and are only drawn to what’s tried and tested. They firmly believe that if Ms. X was happy with Mr. X, then he must really have something special going on – and of course, the desperate vulture will no longer be able to resist f***ing off until she gets her share. It’s even sadder when her attempts are unreciprocated, yet she will continue stalking and groveling after the same guy for months because yes, she is that desperate and undesired. We all know these silly hoes don’t pose a threat to anyone, but neither do flies – and guess what? Flies are swatted because they’re f***ing annoying!

BUT, if a man does fall for those antics and gets tempted to cheat, leave or “get some space,” you may thank whatever higher power you believe in for revealing that he’s not one of the few good ones, and not waste a second more of your time on such a lost cause.

On that note, the very reason why men are almost always eager to return to singlehood, is because they know they’ll have 1001 desperate sl*ts, with no notion of any moral code, ready to pounce on them and their joysticks. Since these men don’t possess an ounce of quality in their bones, quality certainly won’t be what they’re looking for, let alone appreciate.

We all know that there are girls you fall for and girls you just f***, but the latter is really making life difficult for the rest of us. Nice girls are absolutely sick and tired of trying to explain to a man that:

  • 3 AM phone calls from crying, whiny, clingy b****es is wrong, nay, abnormal;
  • An ex “friend with benefits” who you’ve “benefited” in the past few months is not a friend;
  • A girl sending swimsuit photos and winks is in fact a horny sl** that wants you to slap her around in bed;

And that,

  • A stranger you met 3 days ago at a bar is not planning on being “just friends.”

This is just borderline retarded…
Men who need these things explained to them are just retarded!

So, to the retarded men out there, we all know you’re not actually stupid, so stop pretending to be f***tards and give us a break every once in a while. We are very aware of how precious your ego is to you – but get over yourselves already. This is getting really old, really fast.

And to the sl*ts of Lebanon and the world, I would like to say this:

First of all, we all know a sl** when we see one. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. We also know about all your sad attempts and strategies and laugh about them.

Second of all, you all need to enforce a strict female version of the “Bros before Hoes” rule – we can call it “Sisters before Misters.” It doesn’t matter if you know the girl or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re a desperate piece of sh*t who hasn’t gotten laid in months. It also doesn’t matter if you’re old, ugly and on the verge of releasing your last fertile egg. It’s very simple – being a man-thief is a BIG no-no. Why? Because you wouldn’t want another ho trying to steal your man – it is pure common sense. When a man is fresh out of a relationship, at least one of two people is broken – what kind of disgusting person would want to plunge herself into that equation?

So, why am I so angry? Why now? Because 1) I finally have 3 free hours to make this world a better place; and because 2)  in my 13 years of dating experience, I have never given the time of day to one guy who is 1) taken, or 2) fresh out of a breakup. In fact, I have always encouraged them to give it another chance or at least give themselves some time alone. Any good woman with a conscience would do the same. Any woman who has ever experienced heartache or betrayal would never forget how that felt, and would never try to be the cause of that to another woman. All I know is, there is a special place in hell for women that don’t help out other women, and that thought makes me all f***ing warm inside.


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In the Land of Lesbianon!


As we grow older, and as more of our friends get married, we naturally become more aware of how “alone” and “single” we are, and tend to settle for the next best thing just so we don’t get left behind. I for one am content with being single, so long as I’m not stuck in a half-ass relationship with a slob who thinks that wiping urine off his toilet seat is “effort.” On the other hand, several of my single lady friends (and acquaintances) cannot seem to stop complaining about men (or lack thereof) – and this entails the following deep and philosophical questions:

1.       Why do I always fall for assholes?

Because you’re an asshole – to yourself. When you genuinely love someone, you can’t allow yourself to hurt or mistreat them. Now apply that to yourself. If you genuinely love yourself, you can’t allow anyone to hurt you or mistreat you; in order for them to do that, they need your permission. By letting a jerk hold your beautiful heart with his dirty hands, you’re asking for it, sister!

Here’s a scenario for you: A jerk-off tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship, calls you at 2 AM after a night out, asks you to come over because he misses you; you go to his place, expecting a deep, long discussion — what on earth are you thinking? First of all, why pick up in the first place? Let him go booty call his mother. Second of all, the only deep, long thing you’ll be getting is his sausage. Yes, you’re the asshole, not him.

2.       What has happened to men these days?

What has happened to women these days? Where are the women that know what they want, have self-respect, and don’t settle for less than what they deserve? If you want a gentleman with old school manners, be a lady – you’ll definitely stand out in this new generation of vulgar skanks. I’m tired of women who go after men that are in relationships, or women that are so easy – thanks to you bitches, men now think they can have it all without having to make the slightest effort. Since boys will be boys, they think “Why settle for one baby mama when I got all dem hoes on my peen like glue?” (For the record, I don’t know any normal guy that talks like that, but if I ever meet one, I will punch him in the stomach.) Nevertheless, the message is still the same.

3.       Where are the men these days?

They’re everywhere – depending on what you’re looking for. If on the other hand you mean, where’s the generous billionaire who will love and honor me above anyone and anything, you simply must reset your priorities. Start by reading a book or something, because you’re clearly quite ignorant and haven’t a clue on what life is about outside your pretty little head.

And by the way…

This PSA is to all you women who call themselves “gangsta” and “heartbreaker” and talk like a female version of Snoop Dogg (or Lion or whatever his current name is): if ladies become extinct in 50 years, it’s because of white trash like you. You may not be a ho, but you most certainly look and act like one – and you know what they say, “if it talks like a duck and walks like a duck…,” well, you get the point. Stop complaining about “men these days” – you lost your right to be selective the day you started bragging about how “badass” you are. Go grow yourself a penis.

4.       Are all the good men taken or gay?

Obviously, married men are always more appealing than single ones. Why? Because 1) that guy is perceived as someone with enough good qualities to get the girl (face it boys, this is the sad reality); and 2) we all want what we can’t have (rephrased: no one wants what everyone else can get). This in no way encourages you to be a home wrecking ho. There are many great guys left; gay and straight – enough for both the queens and princesses – but obsessively trying to find the last of the good ones by “doing/saying all the right things” won’t get you anywhere. It will just make you more hopeless and desperate. Instead, try searching for yourself. When you find the real “you,” maybe he will too (since he’s probably wondering where all the good women are as well).

5.        “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!”

Why? Because you’re single? Maybe you should start by asking yourself why that’s such a bad thing, then help yourself to a serving of GET OVER IT!

Almost two months ago, I was depressed about celebrating my 28th birthday, simply because it meant turning a year older – nothing more, nothing less. A “bright” girl I know gave me a pat on the shoulder then said, “Don’t worry – my sister got married at 29, after we had all lost hope. You still have a chance.”


My jaw dropped all the way down to her IQ level. I simply blinked at her in complete disbelief and focused on the unbearable humidity, in an eager attempt to distract myself with the one thing more offensive that the words she was uttering.

6.       Who am I going to marry? Will I ever get married?

Well, last time I checked my crystal ball, it said something about you marrying … no, being a moron.

This has to be my least favorite question of the bunch. I guess the fact that I tend to talk and philosophize a lot makes it seem that I hold the answers to the universe. Make no mistake, I am indeed a genius – but if I possessed psychic powers, I’d focus my energy on finding the next Google or Apple or Oprah to invest in – maybe a Gooprah: the answer to all women’s relationship problems.

7.       Why are there so many hoes?

Although I tend to use the word “ho” a lot, I don’t like it much; but it’s a briefer, more convenient way of saying: stupid, insecure, self-hating, fugly bitch that should be kicked in the face for being such a pain to exist with on the same planet. Anyway, cheap guys go for cheap girls – so let’s thank these hoes for existing – they act as a filter for other women by indentifying garbage and helping us avoid dirtying our hands with it.

Sorry boys, the “car fax” doesn’t just work on girls. You’re going to be judged by the girls you’ve loved, fucked and fondled for years to come … and no, being a “pimp” and a “man-whore” is not sexy anymore. That’s so 2001.Get with the times!

8.       Why do men love bitches?

Men love a smart woman who loves herself enough not to take shit from anyone. At the same time, she is honest, respectful and loving – to herself and others. This bitch is a lady – the hoes mentioned above are another genre of last year’s horse manure, who have given up on love, life and themselves. Please do not mistake the two.

At the end of the day, men are looking for the same thing as women — we’re all looking for that spark, and whoever denies it is a child. We all want a good challenge and an equally fulfilling trophy at the end. That is what the “game” is about (this is directed at you fools who pollute my ears with “I’m a hustler; a player; a gangsta.” STFU, please. I no longer have the patience for this at my age.

9.       Should I become a lesbian?

If you feel like it, sure. With the 7 to 1 female to male ratio in Lebanon, you have much higher chances of meeting someone. Just stop reminding me about how you’d be much happier and better off being a “lesbo” unless you want me to shove your face in the next woman’s coochie. In dire need of better conversations here, please – NEXT!

10.   Should I date that loser that was stalking me last year? Maybe he’s a nice guy…

Once again, if you think being single is that much of a punishment that you have to date an annoying worm that is mildly less annoying than a monkey with fleas, then maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship – ever! Because of desperation, I have lost countless girlfriends to men who they’d previously referred to as, “If he were the last man on earth, and the last sheep died, I’d make love to a tree.” Of course, being the way I am, I never ceased to remind them of how horrible their future husband is; thus being exiled from their lives because I’m “unsupportive.”  I’d like to take this opportunity to wish a couple of girls (you know who you are) the following: I hope you make it to your two-year anniversary. If you don’t, you can go fuck a log or a branch or something because I’m all out of I told you so.

In a nutshell, the cure to the chronic disease known as “Singlitis” is the following:

Be a ho. Catch a playa!

Yes, as if.

PS. I will resort to physical violence and (I repeat) punch the next person who talks like that in front of me. I support good diction – and no, that doesn’t mean “dick friction” as so crudely entered in UrbanDictionary.com by this new generation of morons!


Seriously though, it all comes down to this:

If you want a man to respect you, respect yourself first. If you want a man to love you, love yourself first. If you want something, be clear about it and act clearly upon that. If you want a gentleman, be a LADY first!

Or, become a lesbian.

So, since I’m such a wise preacher, why am I single? Because I’m a pedophile that likes molesting little boys.


Let’s just say my last boyfriend raised the bar for everyone else out there. He was a reminder that Prince Charming does exist; that perfect man that each of us is looking for, he really is out there. But in order to be able to give and receive so much happiness without letting it scare you half to death, you have to be ready for it. I was able to find that, but I wasn’t ready and neither was he. This is why I am currently focused on improving myself; because to get the best I can get, I need to be the best I can be first. Next time around, I will be ready; but in the meantime, I won’t be wasting my time complaining, feeling sorry for myself or settling for Mr. Mediocre. As Carrie Bradshaw (SJP) once said, I “refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”


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The Daily Rant: Gym Booger John

I wrote this up a few days ago, and after an hour of deep, useless contemplation, I decided I’d be better off not posting it. Well, today I changed my mind. I decided I simply must rant about a certain reptile, who goes to the same gym as me. Let’s call him Gym Booger John – since he looks like a booger and goes to the gym. I’m so creative. I’m so deep.

Anyway, I don’t know what logic Lebanese women follow when dressing for the gym, but I’m sure it takes me less time to dress up for an evening out on the town. Ladies, what the f*** do you need make up for, aren’t you going to sweat and wipe it off your face? Why is your hair all over the place, don’t you know how to tie a ponytail? Why are you wearing a thong, don’t you know it’s unhygienic while working out?

So these b****es are walking at a speed of 5 and at an intensity of ZERO while looking like a million bucks – not one drop of sweat; make up’s still intact. Meanwhile, I’m climbing hills on the elliptical trainer, pouring puddles of sweat with my hair tied in a bun and an ugly ass headband making me look like a coconut — so it’s only inevitable that I’m going to look like sh**.

Which brings me to Gym Booger “Butt Monkey” John. So this kid was sitting on the Abductor machine as I approached the Adductor – right next to it. Mind you, both these machines are only used by females. A man integrating either into his workout either has a vagina with undercover ovaries OR has the lamest strategy to hit on a girl.
As I sat down on the Adductor, Gym Booger asks me if I wanted to use the Abductor machine, which he was ridiculously sitting on. I told him, “no thanks. I’m using this one.” DUH!

And this is how the dreadful, painful conversation proceeded:

Gym Booger John: Your English is really good. Did you live abroad?
Me: (you got all that from the two words I uttered?) Yes, in Nigeria.
GBJ: No way! I’m Nigerian!
Me: Oh really? What’s your name?
GBJ: My Lebanese one?
Me: (why? How many do you have, you idiot?) No, your Nigerian tribe name.
GBJ: *forces a chuckle* My name is John Booger.

He then asked me where I’m from, and it turned out we’re both from the same town. After he peed in his pants with excitement, he asked me the most offensive question I’ve ever been asked:

GBJ: What’s your name?
Me: Rita
GBJ: Dahdah?!?!?!
Me: (I thought you didn’t know me you lying lump of excrement) Yeah…
GBJ: Weren’t you a lot more attractive?
Me: Pardon me?!
GBJ: Yeah, like a few years ago.
Me: Well, I am at the gym after all, and I look like sh**. I’m usually a lot better looking than this. (I cannot believe I’m justifying myself to this CREEPER)
GBJ: No, no, I’m not referring to your face. Who cares about beauty, it’s only skin deep. I was referring to your body. Weren’t you a lot hotter and thinner?
Me: *clears throat* Like when? A decade ago? Because yes, I was much thinner 7 years ago — seven kilos thinner. I’m surprised you even remember, since no one else does, and since you didn’t even know who I was a minute ago. (Were you even born 7 years ago you f***ing fetus?!)

FIRST OF ALL, ladies and gentlemen, let it be clear that I AM NOT FAT! I cannot believe the nerve on this little sh**! I know I shouldn’t care and I know I’m overreacting, and I KNOW he sat on that f***ing feminine Abductor to weasel his way into chatting me up, but WTF WAS THAT?

Second of all, I would like to address Gym Booger John with the following message:

I must apologize for my delayed reaction – I am now even weirder than you are. I am usually very direct and blunt, but your crude approach caught me off guard, especially after 45 minutes of intense cardio training. Yes, people come to the gym to work out, not to hit on chicks, you little slimy booger.
Speaking of which, when you want to hit on a girl, you do not insult her or speak about her weight, especially if she is twice your age, twice your size and PMS-ing like a b****.
I may have gained a couple of kilos, but you’re just plain ugly, and if you invested more time into working out and less into hitting on chicks at the gym, maybe you’d start looking more like a man and less like a turd-colored twig.
Yes, I am pissed off, and this is bad news for you, because I’ll be blogging about your ass every time I see you at the gym. If I ever see you outside the gym, I’ll be wearing heels . . . that are bigger than your pickle, and I will shove them up your bony butt.
So, my dearest child of the corn, the lessons you must learn today are the following:
1) Fine-tune the way you hit on girls, you retard.
2) When you want to hit on a girl, don’t wait for her at the Adductor or Abductor machines, because that’s just f***ing weird.

So there, that’s my rant of the day. And yes, I could feel stupid for sharing this with you because at least one of you is going to be an a**hole and tease me about it till kingdom come – but I don’t think I really care.

Have a dazzling day muchachos!

PS. If you’re enjoying my daily rants, please subscribe to my blog —  the button’s on the upper right-hand corner. Thanks!

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Will You Marry Me?

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I have realized that the dating scene in Lebanon is close to non-existent. I have been studying this behavior for the past ten years, and it’s almost always two scenarios:
a) the friends with benefits (a.k.a. the booty call)
b) the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship (a.k.a. soon-to-be husband and wife from day one)

I’m not here to change anyone’s tactics, but whatever happened to that period of time designated to getting to know the other person better before you take it to the next step and tell everyone you’re together? I’m talking about that phase called dating that could last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. I’ve been unfortunate enough to have met some horndogs who clearly just wanted a physical relationship, but that’s typical of a guy isn’t it? So it’s usually easy to snub these guys off and kindly ask them to rediscover the magical powers of their right hand. Life goes on.
BUT, what isn’t easy is coming across a guy who is totally clingy and wants to call you his “girlfriend” and possible future wife after 48 hours of meeting you. Yes, these “men” do exist . . .

Signs of a clingy man-gina:

Note that all of the following steps happen in the duration of four weeks or less.

The Encounter: He meets you on a Monday. He asks for your number and/or BB pin.  He calls you nonstop. By Wednesday he’s already called you 21 times. He even reports to you: “I just got home. I just left home. I just got to work. I just had lunch. I ate fassoulia . . . but I hate fassoulia . . . but my mom made it so I had to. What I do like is bazella w riz. I am going to nap. I just woke up. Let me tell you about my dream.”
This is unacceptable behavior. Nothing is left to the imagination. I will go ahead and call this: harassment. It’s like a rule between couples in Lebanon: must report every detail. If you don’t, you’ll be labeled dishonest and incapable of committing to someone.

The Date: He takes you out on a date or two. The minute you lock lips, he doesn’t waste a minute to tell everyone you’re his girlfriend. In some cases, he may send you a relationship request on Facebook within the first two weeks to make sure it’s been appropriately declared to the entire galaxy.
This is basically the weakling’s way of making it known that you’re off the market. He wants you all to himself and wants no one else near you. You can no longer make plans with your friends without including him. God forbid you tell him to brace himself – or worse – that he’s not your boyfriend. He will give you attitude (like a girl), keep throwing hints at you (like a girl) and try to make you jealous (like a girl). In brief, he will turn into a full-fledged GIRL. He’s what we can refer to as “msharda2”.
As things progress at an unnatural pace, names on the phone should be changed to “Roger Hayete” and “Lara Habibi” with designated ringtones.

The Friends: After asking everyone he knows about you (as though he’s buying a new car) and getting the 411 on everything related to your past, he will introduce you to all of his friends – all of them – granted that the carfax he gets is squeaky clean. He will ask his friends – in front of you – what they think about you because he’s too insecure to survive without society’s constant approval of his decisions and behavior. If you actually grow to like one of his friends, telling him “Hey I like Mark. He’s cool,” will only make him turn green with envy but he’ll “mask” it by telling you all sorts of ugly things about Mark so that no one robs him of his imaginary alpha male status.
It’s sad because he doesn’t know how ridiculous he sounds; he actually thinks he’s being smart. At this point you see right through his insecurities and potential menstruation possibilities. While you are disgusted, he’s already planning your wedding in the back of his mind.

The Male Friends: Your guy friends will be the object of his mystification. Whenever you tell him you’re going to have coffee with your male best friend, he gets that bewildered, stupefied, baffled, confused, perplexed expression on his face as he feels he’s being disrespected. It’s usually followed by a useless conversation like this:
Mr. Stupefied: “I like Ryan. He’s cool. So . . . how come you two never dated?”
You: “Because I consider him to be my brother as well as my best friend.”
Mr. Stupefied: “Ah. Oh. Ooh. Eh. I see. I just don’t believe in platonic friendship.”
You: “Is there a problem?”
Mr. Stupefied: (laughing and giggling retardedly) “No, no, no, noooo. Not at all.”
After telling him he’s insecure, he will look at you in disbelief as he tells you you’re the first person to ever tell him that, for he is known as the alpha male of his pack. We all have our dreams.

The Interrogation: He will find hypothetically intelligent ways to ask you about your sexual history.
Inspector Clouseau: “I love Usher’s new song.”
You: “Me too!”
Inspector Clouseau: “By the way, how many guys have you been with . . . umm, ohh, uuuhhh, you know, intimately?”
You: “Does it matter?”
Inspector Clouseau: “No, no, of course not! But it does in a way. I just think that three is more than enough. So, have you been with more than three?”
You: “Are you f***ing serious?”
Inspector Clouseau: “Ha Ha Haaa, I’m only kidding. But really now, how many?”

You see, he has a simple case of “I’m utterly retarded but I just haven’t realized it yet.”
One day.

The In-Laws: He’ll invite you to have lunch with his family (as a very official “what do you think of my new girlfriend” type of thing). You will witness their eyes on you at every instant. They will ask you a variety of questions that would indicate if you’d make a good life-long mate for their daughter son and bear healthy offspring. This means you should speak at least three languages, not smoke or drink (for a healthy uterus) and display good manners and values (which you will be passing down to your unborn children). There is no need to feel like you’re a frog being dissected. This is a normal move that your homo “boyfriend” does on every girl he dates. He’s actually offended that you haven’t done the same yet. He hints that he’d like to be invited for lunch. You pretend to be deaf. He keeps hinting for the next few weeks.

The Future: Yes, he talks about it a lot. He tells you about his career plans, his travels, where he’s planning on living, how many children he’s planning on having and what schools he wants them to go to. The not-so-subtle hints in his speech imply – nay, verify – that you are included in that future.
Psycho Husband-to-be: “I want to put my kids in a French school.”
You: “Oh. Good for you. I want to put mine in an English school.”
You: “What the f*** is your problem? You can pin tails on YOUR kids for all I care.”

To paint a clearer picture, he will send you a photo of him carrying a baby. As you find yourself wondering what the bloody point is, you realize he’s trying to sell you the “I’ll be a good father” image.
He may also show you his baby photos or tell you the 1001 tales of how he was a gorgeous child.
This is when you realize that his ovaries are aching for a fetus.

In less than two weeks, he’s already told you he loves you. He’s already made plans with you for the next 70 years; he’s already introduced you to every living soul he knows. He’s already put so many rules and conditions to bore, suffocate and choke you instead of enjoying what could have been a natural dating process.

At this point, you feel harassed, abused and suffocated. You have had enough and decide it’s time to set some ground rules. You explain to him that he needs to chill a little because he’s freaking you out. He is now offended on 56 different levels, and decides that you are immature and incapable of committing to a relationship. He makes you look like the weird person (because it’s only normal to make marriage plans after sharing one meal together).

I’m just sick and tired of hearing that all women are clingy, needy and obsessed with marriage. Last time I checked, the roles have kind of reversed and there are way too many twisted guys out there that have destroyed the notion of what a man should be like. I dedicate this week’s entry to all my girlfriends (and all the girls out there) who have had to tolerate such losers; you don’t need to accept this crap, because if the roles were reversed, they would have been running for the woods after date #2.

As for those women out there who appreciate and encourage this sort of behavior, I wonder if you’ve asked yourselves how much a man values you as a person if all he’s trying to do is mold you into his perfect trophy wife. Does he want to get married because it’s you that he loves? Or does he “love” you because you can fill up the spot of “wifey” in his distorted idea of a marriage? Think about it.

“Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do-it-yourself” types.”

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8 Stupid Mistakes Women Make With Men

clingy woman relationship mistakes 1 La Wlooo!!!...8 Stupid Mistakes Women Make With Men

Women are always the victims – always – and although “All men are assholes,” and “See? This is what always happens to nice girls like me!” are usually “valid” reasons as to why he stopped calling or lost interest, they’re far from the truth.
In many cases, yes, men can be assholes. BUT, in all cases it’s an “it takes two to tango” situation. Women tend to forget how their behavior directly affects the direction of the relationship; so when things go wrong, the man is blamed – fully – and the woman holds on to her victim card as she complains about the scarcity of good men and the wretchedness of being man-less. In some cases when a woman does ask herself or her friend, “Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong? How? When? What? Blah?!” it usually ends with the most ridiculous and complex analysis that has nothing to do with the situation. I’m not Oprah or Dr. Phil, but I’ve gathered information from personal experiences, friends’ mistakes, and things I’ve heard from hundreds of men about the mistakes women make during the early stages of a relationship that get their men running for the woods.

1.       The Verbal Diarrhea: Being sociable and fun is lovely. Awkward silences are uncomfortable. BUT, when you keep talking regardless of the content and without pausing to take a breath, it becomes very childish. Men will perceive this as irritating, insecure, nervous behavior. He will not only block out the sound of your voice, but he will no longer be intrigued by you as he will perceive you as an insecure child. Remember, silence is golden; and silence also means that you indeed have a brain that processes information and ears that listen. When you are silent, it makes a guy wonder what you’re thinking about – and that is intriguing.  

2.       The Open Book: When you meet a guy, the last thing you want to do is spill your heart out to him. Do not tell him sob stories about your exes, or talk to him about your sexual escapades, or about how you have abandonment issues because of your father, or how your mother teases you about your weight. Do not complain about your jiggly arms or your fat thighs or your chunky belly (which he probably never noticed until you brought attention to them). Do not tell him your friends’ secrets or gossip about half the country. Do not tell him how you’ve liked him and stalked him for months on Facebook while asking people about his latest news. Let him wonder, “Does she like me? What does she want?” Telling him too much is like going to see a movie but seeing the spoilers first. Why read a book when you already know what happens in every chapter? It becomes predictable and boring. A man likes to be intrigued and finds it a lot more interesting and challenging to discover who you are and how you think one step at a time. The more mysterious you are, the higher his interest level.

3.       The Human Disclaimer: When it comes to what you expect from the guy or the relationship, it’s simple: keep your mouth shut. Women believe that they should state all facts and requirements before the 4th date so that they don’t waste any time:
“I’m looking for a serious relationship and I want to get married. I don’t want someone who is going to waste my time or break my heart. I’ve wasted enough time and gotten my heart broken way too many times. I want a gentleman who will worship me, take care of me and treat me like a princess. I don’t want someone who just wants to fool around and have fun.”
After you say that, the guy’s face will probably turn yellow as he wipes the sweat off his forehead and reminds himself to breathe. Why? Because he just understood that you want to marry him tomorrow simply because you want to get married (and not because you like him as a person). He also understood that you are probably Hitler’s great granddaughter or the spawn of Satan who will suffocate him and not allow him to have one fun moment as long as he’s with you.
If he’s a royal asshole, he’ll probably tell you he’s serious about you and go on to name your first child. After he has sex with you, you’ll never hear from him again.
Every guy starts off wanting to fool around and have fun. It’s your ACTIONS not your words that determine the direction of the relationship and the nature of his feelings. The whole point of the dating process is to learn about each other.

clingy woman relationship mistakes La Wlooo!!!...8 Stupid Mistakes Women Make With Men

4.       The Goodie Two-Shoes: Last week I mentioned how women are attracted to the Alpha Male; a powerful, smart man who never comes across as eager or desperate. That being said, why would a man like a weak, eager and desperate woman? What man ever had a sexual fantasy about fragile anemic woman? It’s usually the dominating nurse, school teacher, and so on.
A foolish, nice girl will put her man before her in everything because she is scared of losing him. She will never argue with him and she will never allow her schedule to conflict with his. He is always her priority.
You don’t want to always agree with a man just because you want to please him. You must have your own opinions. If he doesn’t like that new pair of shoes you bought, who cares! Don’t stop wearing them. If he does something wrong or disrespectful, you mustn’t stand for it. For example, if he’s two hours late to pick you up, explain to him in a firm way that your time is precious to you and that he should let you know next time. If he’s late again, take the initiative and cancel your date. If he tells you he wants to go out for dinner on Wednesday and it conflicts with your schedule (even if it’s your yoga class), postpone the date to another day. When you do these things it doesn’t mean he will go and find someone else who is more understanding, it means he will respect you more for being an independent woman.

5.       The Over-Trying/Doing/Needing/Nagging:  When you are dating a guy, never give too much. A mistake that women fall into is that when they care a lot about someone, they tend to worry a lot and give a lot. Worrying a lot puts you in the same category with his mama. When you become his mama it’s game over, because mama will never walk away if he’s acting bad (so he takes advantage of that) . . . and also because no man views his mama as a sexual being, and the last thing you want is for him to start desiring other women. “Don’t drink too much. Are you eating right? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising? Don’t forget to call Mark. Don’t forget to take your vitamins.” You are not his mama! Or his nurse or his nanny or his secretary.
When a woman gives all her time to a man, she becomes emotionally dependant. This is wrong. No guy likes a needy, dependant woman that can’t stand on her own two feet. Never let go of your daily routine for a man; keep your friendships and social life intact, give priority to your work, spend time with your family, and most importantly, always have your “ME” time. Whether it’s hiking, painting, reading a book, your alone time is therapeutic; it allows you to relax and de-stress – versus venting to him . . . all the time . . . like a psycho.
Never ever quit your job to spend more time with him, and what’s worse, depending on him financially. With time he will lose respect for you, start viewing you as a burden and will boss you around and control your life.
Never overdo things. When you start seeing a guy and you cook for him, it comes across as desperate, “I’m trying so hard to please you because I can’t believe a guy actually looked at me.” What’s worse is that he’ll think you cook for every guy you meet. My Ex kept insisting that I cook for him. So I did. He started expecting me to do that on a frequent basis. We stopped going out for dinner and he stopped saying “Thank you”. One day, I “accidentally” burnt his pots, set half the kitchen on fire, and it took 3 days to get the horrible odor out of his apartment. Ever since, we’d always go out for dinner or order in. He even cooked for me a few times, after which I said “Thank you”.
When you’re too nice, a guy gets comfortable and takes you for granted. When a girl gives too much, she usually expects the guy to give more. It never works that way. He will give less and less till one day she’s the only one giving and that’s when she becomes needy and naggy – which only pushes him further away. In this case, take five steps back and focus on yourself. You know who else will be focusing on you? Him of course.

6.       The Demanding Diva: Of course every man likes to treat his woman, but no man enjoys feeling that he is expected to all the time without feeling gratitude. A woman may make the man feel that he’s obliged to pay for her dinner and buy her things. She shows no gratitude and even behaves as though she is expecting it. By offering to pay sometimes and by saying thank you every time and showing your gratitude to your man’s generosity and thoughtfulness, he looks forward to doing more for you. Whereas if you act indifferent about it, he doesn’t feel rewarded or appreciated for his efforts and he will stop doing them or even stop seeing you altogether.
You also shouldn’t expect him to do things and then scold him for not doing them. Judge him by who he is and not by his potential. If you can’t accept him as he is, don’t try to change him – simply walk away.
For example, if you want him to call you when he reaches home and he forgets, it sounds ridiculous when you yell at him, “Why didn’t you call me, why?!” If he wanted to call you, he would have.

clingy woman relationship mistakes 2 La Wlooo!!!...8 Stupid Mistakes Women Make With Men

7.       The Predictable Pattern: Never fall into a predictable pattern with a guy. Always keep him on his toes. If he’s used to you calling him three times a day (when you wake up, when you finish lunch, and when you’re off to bed) stop it! Change that pattern. If he expects to see you every evening at 7 pm, change that pattern. If he expects you to answer every time he calls, change that pattern. Nothing kills romance like routine. When two people get too comfortable, they stop making an effort. When everything is predictable, the spark dies. Don’t always be at his beck and call. It’s good to be unavailable from time to time. It’s good that he wonders where you are and what you’re doing. I don’t understand why couples are expected to report back to each other every time they breathe, “Hey baby. I just left home. Just got to Tina’s house. Just stopped by the gas station. Just farted.” It’s B-O-R-I-N-G! It turns your relationship into something robotic, mechanical and void of passion.

8.       The Drama Mama: Don’t hang on every word he says. Focus on his actions. Do not overreact about every single little thing. Do not constantly talk about your feelings and what you’re feeling and how your feelings are hurt. Go eat some chocolate and get over it. Men freak out when they hear the word “feelings” or “emotions”. Never overanalyze what he says or does; his brain is so, so simple. If he comments that some girl has a nice ass, don’t throw a hissy fit. It’s not like he’s going to pounce on her; he’s probably just saying it to get a reaction from you. Don’t scream or cry or shout while you’re arguing with him – keep your composure so that he takes you seriously. When a man calls you dramatic, it’s because he perceives you as emotional. Men consider emotional people childish and do not take them seriously. Keep that in mind the next time your mascara is running down your cheeks as you wail at him, “YOU DON’T LOVE ME! YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ME! I HAVE FEELINGS. I NEED ATTENTION. NAG NAG NAG.” Chill. It’s logical: if too much talking bothers men, why not try doing the opposite? Don’t talk at all. Distance yourself. That ought to get his attention and send your message across without all the drama.

Men can be children. Women can be idiots. We all have our flaws, but if we try to learn a bit more about how the other sex functions, we’d all know how to communicate and behave better – and avoid the “What went wrong? Everything was perfect,” sob story.
Always remember, a man is not responsible for your happiness; you are.

“Well done is better than well said.” Benjamin Franklin

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